Frustration

Okay for those of you who saw my post maybe a month and a half ago about my weight loss "journey".... here's an update.  So I've been getting up anywhere between 3:30a.m. and 4:30a.m. (depending on how long it takes me to come out of the grog) and going to the gym.  I've also been doing the slim-fast plan, which is two meal-replacement shakes and 500 calorie dinner, which makes for a 1200 calorie day.  I was doing like an hour a day on the elliptical and I was feeling really good about myself for a while, because I started to drop weight quickly and I had more energy.  Then I read in the slim-fast community about a girl who lost a lot of weight really quickly too and now has flabby, flappy skin all over the place and I don't want to be that way, when i lose weight I want to look GOOD!

So about three weeks ago, I nixed doing the (what I had then worked up to) 75 minute elliptical machine workout and started doing just 30 minutes on the elliptical and weight training for about 45 minutes.  Well, as most of you know, muscle weighs more than fat, so I started putting weight back on again and I was sore like crazy.  I started eating more protein to give my muscles what it needed and taking a vitamin too since I haven't really been eating much.  Today I haven't really come very far from where I was three weeks ago, and the scale still says I'm a fat lard.  I'm happy that I've managed to change my lifestyles and develop healthy habits in my life, and I'm glad that I'm able to exercise for so long now at a resistance level that I wouldn't have even thought about exercising at a year ago, but it just feels like I've plateaued out and I'm not going anywhere.  I mean, I can see my ankle bones again, my wedding ring just about falls off every time I'm in the shower, my insulin useage has dropped by more than half of what I used to be using, but I'm just not getting the results I was looking for.  I have to be at a semi-healthy weight before we can have another baby and at this rate, Dennis will be 35 before I'll be at he'll get a younger sibling.  Pfffffffffffffttttltpslfjstt.  I just feel like there's no hope for me.  But the good news is, I used to be a big time hatetoruner, and now because I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in, muscle-wise, I feel like I can run a marathon!  Well, maybe not that long of a run, but a 5k or something.  I'm ready for it! 

In other news, we're moving the day after my birthday - our lease is up at the end of May, it's like $150 more to rent a truck at the end of the month, so that's why we're doing the week before.  If Scott can't find even a promise of a job by the time May rolls around, we'll be moving to Sierra Vista with my parents to be able to save on rent.