Well, as some of you may know, last week I had a little facebook rant about how Scott wasn't even good for taking out the trash or catching bugs, his only two jobs. Well this post is meant to be a retraction...of sorts. So last night I was having trouble falling asleep, thoughts of all the move stuff floating around in my head, and so I got up at about 11:30p.m. to get a drink of water. So I get a cup out of the cupboard and set it down in front of the microwave and go to get the pitcher of water. I flip the light switch on and walk back to pour the water in my cup. As I'm pouring, I see.... the two little feelers of that same sewer bug/monster cockroach from last week, sticking out from underneath the microwave. I'm pretty sure I woke Dennis up with my scream, but I was too busy to worry about that. I put the water pitcher back in the fridge and moved my cup of water away from the monster, slowly as I could, so as not to evoke its anger. Then I get under the sink to get the eco-friendly insect killer, except at this point I secretly don't care or what stands in my way to kill that thing. Then I stand as far away from the microwave as I can, close my eyes and spray at that vile creature.... the poor microwave never knew what hit it! At this point, the crocodile retreated and I didn't know if I'd killed it or not, so I went to go get the flashlight - the one in the bathroom because Moses knows that I wasn't about to root around for the one under the sink in the kitchen. I hold my breath and turn on the flashlight, hardly daring to look under there, but I didn't see anything under the microwave except for an old cheerio. Well, my lack of kitchen cleanliness aside, I now proceeded to freak out. I knew I had to pull everything off the counter and hunt down that sucker if I wanted to have any sanity and carry on with my normal life. But I just couldn't do it. So I go to wake up Sleeping Beauty.
One of Scott's gifts is the ability to sleep through fireworks, plane crashes, train wrecks, ambulances and fire engines. I go into our room and shine the flashlight into Scott's eyes. Scott, the poor dear, was still asleep and proceeds to shield the manlies (because he thinks the only person to wake him mid slumber is his mother, apparently) and the polite version of what he said to me is "get the heck out of here, I want to sleep for five more minutes before school starts". So then I turn on the light and he rolls back over and sees me, teeth shattering, flashlight in the right hand, insect spray in the left. I told him "I need help". He says "what is it now?" I almost began to sob as I told him I really tried to take care of it myself, but that I couldn't just go back to sleep knowing that thing was out there. I leave the room and go have a time out to decompress while he takes care of it. *SLAM* from the kitchen. I hear Scott jump back. *THUMP*. clomp clomp clomp. He goes to the bathroom. So I settle back in bed confident that justice has been done and I know now that I'll be able to sleep like a baby having just been through a traumatic experience. Scott comes back in the room, and I said "you got him, right?" He says "nope, I couldn't see it, you probably just imagined it". At this point I'm seething mad. I jump out of bed and say "fine, I'll take care of it myself. See you in a few hours". Scott clogs back after me in a few minutes to find me in the hallway before the kitchen, steeling myself because I could HEAR IT MOVING! I was planning an attack strategy and now apparently Scott is furious at me because I'm forcing him to stay up. I say "Scott, can't you hear that?" he says "no. If it's not this bug, there are plenty more out there, you know." I say "yeah, but I have the right to feel safe in my own home." *CLINK* I say "Did you hear that?" he says "no". He pushes me out of the way and grabs the stuff from beside the microwave and then says "oh - there he is". *Pfffffffffff* I shot from the room like a rocket, back to the covers, while Scott chuckles in the kitchen. *SQUIRT SQUIRT SQUIRT* I hear from my room - this I presume, is Scott trying to drown the beast. *POW PAM BOOM*. He drops the bottle and grabs the broom from the wall. *SLAM SLAM WHACK*. He kills the monster with the broom. *CLUNK POW VROOM SWISH SWISH CLUNK SLAM*. He opens the back door, sweeps the creature out the back door and slams the door. He comes back into the room, wipes the sweat off his forehead and I, who am trying to make myself feel better say "wow, did you kill 1 or 10? It sounded painful in there!" But nonetheless, Scott is my hero and he was able to do what I can't handle! Thank you Scotty! :)
